The biggest mistake people make when they are in a relationship with one who has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is thinking of their narcissist as a normal, neurotypical person.
Which, hey this happens. I had no clue about narcissistic personality disorder or cluster b’s when I met my narcissist. You don’t know until you know, and then accepting the truth is a whole different story after that.
The thing is, we often see people as we are, not as they are.
Psst… (Hey empath, I see you!;)
The truth is the same for narcissists. Narcs see us as they are.
So, while we are mustering up every bit of energy to make the narcissist happy and feel loved… they are using us as a resource that never provides quite enough of the ‘supply’ that narcissists need.
Nothing is normal about the narcissist’s psychological framework. Narcissists are severely disordered individuals. Simply put, they are fundamentally built differently than ‘normal’ neurotypical people.
Narcissists do not think, behave, or relate with others in any ‘normal’ way because they have a personality disorder.
“Personality Disorder (noun) — a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior of a specified kind that deviates markedly from the norms of generally accepted behavior, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, and causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society.”- Oxford Languages
‘Normal’ neurotypical people do not go through society devouring people the way that narcissists do for their own personal gain or pleasure.
End of story.
Understand that your narcissist is an extremely disordered, predatory individual who will not be able to emotionally attach in any healthy reciprocal way.
To understand the unholy, incurable place where your narcissist is coming from, and to draw the line between you and them, is essential to taking your power back- to love, to live, and be you, freely.
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