Some of my friends might ask me if I feel often lonely as I live alone in my small house. It’s common to think that people need to mingle with others in order to have a good social life. Going to a little party called ‘arisan,’ hanging out in a cozy cafe, or going to a church or mosque, is one of many ways to meet people and keep connecting to the world.
Most the people might think it’s fun and they enjoy those kinds of activities. But, not me.
Since my childhood, I had no lots of friends. Meeting new people is such a horrible experience for me. My mom used to call a child like this ‘clingus.’ When relatives came to our house, I tended to hide in my room, and refused to be introduced to them.
My mom usually told me, “When I was your age, I was so brave and friendly. Look, now I have so many friends. How come you are so shy like this?!” She just criticized my personality without giving me solutions to be a more cheerful and warmer kid.
As I was growing up, my personality wasn’t as bad as when I was younger. I started to have friends at senior high and at college as a way to survive. Yeah, having a good social life, have networking is a must or without it, you will die.
Today, after graduating, I have to meet people and students every day because of my occupation. I’m a teacher at a certain institution.
But, again, I can’t love meeting people that much. Chatting with people for a few minutes is okay, but I can’t do it for a long duration. Attending a party is never mind, but I do mind if I have to stay there longer. Sometimes, I say yes when some of my friends ask me to join them to chill out. But, after a few minutes of joining, I regret and feel sick of it.
Every time when I get back to my room I feel very peaceful, grateful, and happy. No crowded, no people, no children’s noisy. Just me. It really relieves.
I don’t know what people like me be called. Introvert?
Then, some of you might wonder if I just sleep or lie in the bed when alone. No, I don’t just sleep and lie. I do many activities; cooking, making tea or coffee, doing exercises, and reading. Many things. And so far, I really enjoy every single thing in my life.
Being alone, and separated from people makes me think clearly. I can do my jobs in very detail as my side job is to write. The food I cooked without any companion tastes really good, meanwhile, if I get disturbed by talks and questions this and that, it tastes terrible. That’s why I don’t like to have others in my house. I don’t want a shared house. All I want is a house just for me.
Being alone is never mind for me.
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